Corner Garden

A visitor said something like: "Are those branches?"
And I said something in response like: "Yeah"
He said: "Why don't they have leaves like the other ones?" (All of the other branches (except the two in question) have so many leaves).
I said: "Don't know." They haven't had leaves on those branches since I moved here (late August). Since he asked (less than a week ago) one defiant little leaf has reared its cute little budding head and is getting bigger every day.

And I, like a real jerk, _still_ want more and ask the plant: Where are the flowers, buddy?

Archives

OLD PICTURES
From A New Year (2008-2009)

The Good News

My last issue of McSweeney's, a gift from a year ago, came in the mail. It's calling out to me and competing with Nickel and Dimed, a novel in which an upper middle class writer puts aside her PhD and decides to figure out the underpaid underbelly of America. I have to read Nickel and Dimed but I want to read James Franco's short story and phone conversation with Miranda July about moonlighting. I've already read Deb Olin Unferth's very short story because it was just very short. In the mail I also received (every single time I write received I still recite "i before e...") a pre-invitation to a wedding. The wedding will be taking place at the only place I know the person from; the place where, when I was 15 (she was older), the bride-to-be told me about the locations on the property where she had done it with her boyfriend (including in the human sized hamster wheel). I have a photograph of her on that same hamster wheel. And now this boyfriend is to become her husband and I think that is very sweet, sweet like elephants with their trunks entwined.

Over the last 6 months I have been making a list of inanimate objects that appear to be kissing when touching. I don't have the list with me but I remember thinking hammers was a good one, and teapots.

R&R (regress and regrets) (also rest and relaxtion)

I have a sliver. Wood working its way into my body. Maybe it will just stay in there. Or maybe it will work its way out.
(If I am brave and pull it out who is going to make me brownies?)

Real Mature

It took a day for readings to take over everything. It took one guy saying "sucks balls" and a generally heavy presence of the type of people who might say "sucks balls" for me to drop one class for a hopefully better one. People might say "sucks balls" just because it has a ring to it and is potentially catchy (I don't know) but hear this: Think twice before you say "sucks balls". It might mean that a fairly intelligent and generally articulate person is going to drop the class she had with you, one week before the presentation she had with you, leaving you to do the work with just one other guy sometime on the day before the presentation is to be presented because you're busy making out with your girlfriend all weekend in Montreal. Can't we pick a more mature phrase for things we don't like, something more like "this stinks" or "this is the poops"? If he had said that it was poopy that we had to present next Thursday maybe I would have stuck around. This is what happens when teachers group students by the 1-2-3-4-5 ones-over here-twos-over there-method.
Anyway, readings have taken over everything. I planned my future over pints with a friend. Mine had reading, hanging out, and maybe writing in it. Her's had helicopters and fame, NY and LA. I'm (clearly) too caught up on the little things (see above) and ought to dream bigger. Maybe not a helicopter, maybe aaaaaa station wagon; something with wheels and room for a dog.

Tuesday comes after Monday and Wednesday's next.

Pizza, wild dreams (I beat up a child because DQ was responsible for a soccer ball hitting me in the head three times and it really hurt so I asked the child's parents for compensation (the managers of the DQ) and they said no so I tackled the child down hard and ran off), and what's that? That's laundry! No more underpants in my bathroom sink! Clean Sheets And Fresh Socks. Within the next hour and a half? All applications done! Within the next 48 hours? A magical reunion of spirits! How am I spending my day? In the library getting started. What's my resolution? A new sentence a day. Yesterday? A 2010 agenda with inspirational and awful quotes that worked. Today I wear my greasy hair down.

On women and whiskey and what they can do

A pretty good evening:
I left the house last night with a dried out broken cigar in hand and a whiskey and coke in bottle. Matches in my pocket. And I went to a house show to get a little of that house show feeling. And I got it and I went home.

Knew Yuhs

Each and every year a "Happy New Year," like it's a matter of fact. Last year the girl next to me bought a house and met Nick, and she asked me what did I do?

This is why New Year's Eve and disco balls are so well paired together. The end of a year and lots of spiraling broken reflections. This I suppose about sums it (everything) up. The goods and evils of self-reflection going 'round and 'round. ("The problem with cyclical things is..."). All the most beautiful moments, like even the most delicious yogurt, can turn sour.

It's my nature to want to make things be or seem okay. But it's okay for things to be downright shitty for a little while.

I need a good romp in the snow or an old dog to pet.