The child's logic, "Why make the bed if you’re just going to sleep in it again?" Always made sense to me. So why shower when the dirt that takes half an hour to get off will be there again quickly in less than 5 minutes?
Because if you don’t shower you won’t get a chance to find the tick on your torso.
I paraded my friend around for a while, let him or her get to know the folks here, before it was tore quickly and painlessly from my body.
What can I say that will say what I think?
I pull bugs from my body and dirt from my hair. I am happy outside and I'm outside everyday. Dirt is in and under my skin.
2008-05-28
2008-05-21
Now don't you fret. Now don't you frown.
"Seriously guys, we're not joking, there's a bear between you and us."
"There's no bear, that was just us saying there was a bear, we're coming over."
We walk over.
"Growl," says the bear.
Half of us walk quickly forward, half back. I'm in the half back. We're split in two groups. I want to run wildly but I walk briskly.
"Keep making noise. We're coming to get you."
They trek through the forest to reach our path, take us back and unite us all on a porch structure.There's only one way in and Joe has the axe. Have you seen Joes shovel arm? We're fine.
We're all together. Surely if we're all together the bear won't bother us. We proceed to walk out. Joe in front with the axe. I'm in the middle. I figure the middle is a safe bet. The drunkest of us are at the tail. We make lots of noise. We sing the campfire song about the bear, the great big bear, oh way out there.
"Growl," says the bear.
"Holy shit," says us. We walk back to the porch.
We've got to make lots of noise.
"Let's party!" says us. We stay at the porch.
Beers are opened. Guitars played.
"Growl," says the bear.
"Let's call the RCMP," says us.
"Hello, we're a group of twenty people on the 'Trees of the World' trail. We're in this mushroom thing, and there is a bear approaching us. We're making lots of noise and it's still bothering us. Can we have some help, maybe some fire arms?"
"No I'm not joking."
So, some time, a few phone calls, some more nearby growls, and some drinks later, some officers break through the brush, with some weapons in hand. The man cocks his gun in front of us, 'cause it looks tough and he knows it.
We go out in the direction of the bear. Surely with shot guns it won't bother us.
"Growl," says the bear, closer than ever.
"Did you see that?" says us.
We saw it; a nine foot tall moose, getting progressively taller as the story is told and retold, was our bear.
"Growl," says the moose.
With guns aimed, we were escorted out, met by three police cars, and wished a good night.
It was a good night.
"There's no bear, that was just us saying there was a bear, we're coming over."
We walk over.
"Growl," says the bear.
Half of us walk quickly forward, half back. I'm in the half back. We're split in two groups. I want to run wildly but I walk briskly.
"Keep making noise. We're coming to get you."
They trek through the forest to reach our path, take us back and unite us all on a porch structure.There's only one way in and Joe has the axe. Have you seen Joes shovel arm? We're fine.
We're all together. Surely if we're all together the bear won't bother us. We proceed to walk out. Joe in front with the axe. I'm in the middle. I figure the middle is a safe bet. The drunkest of us are at the tail. We make lots of noise. We sing the campfire song about the bear, the great big bear, oh way out there.
"Growl," says the bear.
"Holy shit," says us. We walk back to the porch.
We've got to make lots of noise.
"Let's party!" says us. We stay at the porch.
Beers are opened. Guitars played.
"Growl," says the bear.
"Let's call the RCMP," says us.
"Hello, we're a group of twenty people on the 'Trees of the World' trail. We're in this mushroom thing, and there is a bear approaching us. We're making lots of noise and it's still bothering us. Can we have some help, maybe some fire arms?"
"No I'm not joking."
So, some time, a few phone calls, some more nearby growls, and some drinks later, some officers break through the brush, with some weapons in hand. The man cocks his gun in front of us, 'cause it looks tough and he knows it.
We go out in the direction of the bear. Surely with shot guns it won't bother us.
"Growl," says the bear, closer than ever.
"Did you see that?" says us.
We saw it; a nine foot tall moose, getting progressively taller as the story is told and retold, was our bear.
"Growl," says the moose.
With guns aimed, we were escorted out, met by three police cars, and wished a good night.
It was a good night.
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